Monday, April 30, 2012

Affairs of international passion and mystery!

Inside the Presidential Palace in Sudekia on a rainy afternoon...

"And so your Excellency, you can see the situation as it develops overseas for our quick investment-high yield very short term economics income program. We may have to start looking for other more open markets, as the situation in Western Europe seems to be all helter skelter with Greece, and the Netherlands, and France all going wang-doodle on elections." The Economic Advisor said.
He finished for a moment and then waited in silence as His Excellency; President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah sat staring at the numbers on the Excel spreadsheet before him.
"Hmmm...Good idea." He said to no one in particular.
The advisor sighed a slight sigh of relief.
B'wonah looked up at him and gave him the famous and often hoped for "You can go now" nod of his head. The advisor quickly scurried away from the podium and out the door before the President could change his mind.
Taking his place was the Security Advisor.
"Your Excellency. As you know, this morning National Defense Forces discovered a third abandoned cargo ship off of our coastline."
B'wonah nodded silently. Of course I am aware of this you idiot! Do I look like the fool that I have heard that you take me for? He thought to himself.
"Lights please?" The advisor asked as if in response the click of the switch plunged the room into almost immediate darkness as the projector brought up the picture on the screen.
"It's the Alcovian freighter Dreinia Maria, an Alcovian cargo ship that was reported missing approximately one month ago in the Black Sea." 
B'wonah stared at the photo of the derelict ship. Hmmmm....He thought. Three ships...all from Eastern European ports, listed as "lost"...then suddenly "found" right here, thousands of miles away and completely empty of cargo, crew, or anything really of value. Who's doing this, and what are they planning? His eyes shifted around to all the cabinet ministers and officials sitting around the conference table. Could any of these men here be involved in this? Is this a plot against me? Has one of my own loyal ministers decided to undermine my authority? I need to find this out and find out who is involved and what they are up to.

The Alcovian Freighter Dreinia Maria

"Currently we do not know what the situations with these ships are, but we are still investigating. Due to the issues in Eastern Europe, it's often difficult to find anyone that knows what is going on..." The advisor stopped and stood in uncomfortable silence.
"Or is willing to talk?" B'wonah said.
The advisor nodded.
"Continue." B'wonah said waving his hand at the advisor.
"With the issues that we have been having with Eastern European Translators, we decided to contact their official government sources directly, and in doing so, accidentally contacted Alcovian Royal Crown Princess Malatova about the issue...."
The slide clicked to show a picture of the Alcovian Crown Princess.

HRH Alcovian Crown Princess Malatova

"Hold the bus!" B'wonah exclaimed suddenly when he saw the picture of the princess. His suddenly exclamation and movement caused everyone to jump around the table and wonder if he was going to pull out his pistol and start "dispersing corrective action" as he was prone to do at times...
"She's the Alcovian Crown Princess?" B'wonah asked, as his eyes focused on her photo.
"Yes. Excellency." The advisor responded. He could see the gleam in The President-For-Life’s eyes. He knew where this was going. In fact he thought that he could actually hear The President-For-Life, licking his lips as a weasel would while preparing to devour a helpless chicken in a barnyard...
"So do we ummm....have any official relations with Alcovia?" B'wonah asked.
"No Excellency..." The advisor answered.
"You know...Perhaps I should write a letter...You know...from me to get us acquainted....You their country out with international relations and all of that stuff, right?" B'wonah said with a slight turgid tone of excitement in his voice.
The advisor knowing that the more sensible "No I don't think that would be a wise idea sir", answer would most likely give him a 9mm migraine headache, nodded his head and said "I think that that would be a swell and most excellent idea your Excellency!"
The advisor and the rest of the officials waited until B'wonah had settled back into his chair before resuming the briefing.
The advisor droned on about "international naval operations and possible piracy in Bongolesian waters", but B'wonah wasn't listening. He was thinking about the Alcovian freighter....and other things...
Annnnnnnd that sweet thing Princess Malatova. I had no idea that they had such hotties in Alcovia...hmmm...She is a sweet thing....I could peel her like banana. I wonder if she's a bad girl? She obviously likes uniforms, as she is wearing one...perhaps I should send her a dress uniform photo of me with my note...You know what they say...."once you go B' never go....."
He chuckled to was going to be a good day after all.....


J Womack, Esq. said...

As Minister of Culture, may I suggest a cultural exchange program? Her Royal Highness could bring a troupe of Alcovian dancers or somesuch to Sudekia, while I take some of our world-renowned exotic native dancers to Alcovia.

War Minister Crittumbo said...

J., Cultural Attache Crittumbette will have a list of approved acts and personnel on you desk Wednesday am.

Eli Arndt said...

Alcovia thanks you for your interest in a cultural exchange. Unfortunately internal matters prevent us feom engaging in any official exchanges at this time.

We are, however, quite interested in your report of the three Alcovian freighters recovered in Bongolesian waters. We are eager to have them returned to us in a timely manner.

Minister of The Interior - Rudolf Rudnost

Murph said...

Dear Minister Rudnost;
Bongolesia thanks you for the kind words.
Unfortunately of the three ships that have been discovered, only one (the latest one - The Dreinia Maria), is Alcovian. The other two belong to other "Eastern European nations with problems of their own."
The ship is in bad repair and has been stripped of just about everything. It's little more than a floating hulk and we were preparing to use it as a target for military practice when you expressed interested in getting it back.
Currently it has been towed to Port Tuziak and is awaiting your recovery. Please inquire with the economic minister on the proper fees for transport, handling, and storage of said item before it can be signed off to you.

Thank you;

Jak'ee Gl'eez'on

International Trade Liason
National Ministry of International Relations - Eastern European Division.

J Womack, Esq. said...

Silly Alcovians, misplacing their freighters.

But still, I think His Excellency will exchange at least his third and fourth wives for Her Royal Highness.

Didn't know matchmaking fell under the portfolio of Minister of Culture, did you?

Eli Arndt said...

I believe that you might her a bit troublrsome given her social mindedness, independence, and military training.