Monday, April 30, 2012

Affairs of international passion and mystery!

Inside the Presidential Palace in Sudekia on a rainy afternoon...

"And so your Excellency, you can see the situation as it develops overseas for our quick investment-high yield very short term economics income program. We may have to start looking for other more open markets, as the situation in Western Europe seems to be all helter skelter with Greece, and the Netherlands, and France all going wang-doodle on elections." The Economic Advisor said.
He finished for a moment and then waited in silence as His Excellency; President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah sat staring at the numbers on the Excel spreadsheet before him.
"Hmmm...Good idea." He said to no one in particular.
The advisor sighed a slight sigh of relief.
B'wonah looked up at him and gave him the famous and often hoped for "You can go now" nod of his head. The advisor quickly scurried away from the podium and out the door before the President could change his mind.
Taking his place was the Security Advisor.
"Your Excellency. As you know, this morning National Defense Forces discovered a third abandoned cargo ship off of our coastline."
B'wonah nodded silently. Of course I am aware of this you idiot! Do I look like the fool that I have heard that you take me for? He thought to himself.
"Lights please?" The advisor asked as if in response the click of the switch plunged the room into almost immediate darkness as the projector brought up the picture on the screen.
"It's the Alcovian freighter Dreinia Maria, an Alcovian cargo ship that was reported missing approximately one month ago in the Black Sea." 
B'wonah stared at the photo of the derelict ship. Hmmmm....He thought. Three ships...all from Eastern European ports, listed as "lost"...then suddenly "found" right here, thousands of miles away and completely empty of cargo, crew, or anything really of value. Who's doing this, and what are they planning? His eyes shifted around to all the cabinet ministers and officials sitting around the conference table. Could any of these men here be involved in this? Is this a plot against me? Has one of my own loyal ministers decided to undermine my authority? I need to find this out and find out who is involved and what they are up to.

The Alcovian Freighter Dreinia Maria

"Currently we do not know what the situations with these ships are, but we are still investigating. Due to the issues in Eastern Europe, it's often difficult to find anyone that knows what is going on..." The advisor stopped and stood in uncomfortable silence.
"Or is willing to talk?" B'wonah said.
The advisor nodded.
"Continue." B'wonah said waving his hand at the advisor.
"With the issues that we have been having with Eastern European Translators, we decided to contact their official government sources directly, and in doing so, accidentally contacted Alcovian Royal Crown Princess Malatova about the issue...."
The slide clicked to show a picture of the Alcovian Crown Princess.

HRH Alcovian Crown Princess Malatova

"Hold the bus!" B'wonah exclaimed suddenly when he saw the picture of the princess. His suddenly exclamation and movement caused everyone to jump around the table and wonder if he was going to pull out his pistol and start "dispersing corrective action" as he was prone to do at times...
"She's the Alcovian Crown Princess?" B'wonah asked, as his eyes focused on her photo.
"Yes. Excellency." The advisor responded. He could see the gleam in The President-For-Life’s eyes. He knew where this was going. In fact he thought that he could actually hear The President-For-Life, licking his lips as a weasel would while preparing to devour a helpless chicken in a barnyard...
"So do we ummm....have any official relations with Alcovia?" B'wonah asked.
"No Excellency..." The advisor answered.
"You know...Perhaps I should write a letter...You know...from me to get us acquainted....You their country out with international relations and all of that stuff, right?" B'wonah said with a slight turgid tone of excitement in his voice.
The advisor knowing that the more sensible "No I don't think that would be a wise idea sir", answer would most likely give him a 9mm migraine headache, nodded his head and said "I think that that would be a swell and most excellent idea your Excellency!"
The advisor and the rest of the officials waited until B'wonah had settled back into his chair before resuming the briefing.
The advisor droned on about "international naval operations and possible piracy in Bongolesian waters", but B'wonah wasn't listening. He was thinking about the Alcovian freighter....and other things...
Annnnnnnd that sweet thing Princess Malatova. I had no idea that they had such hotties in Alcovia...hmmm...She is a sweet thing....I could peel her like banana. I wonder if she's a bad girl? She obviously likes uniforms, as she is wearing one...perhaps I should send her a dress uniform photo of me with my note...You know what they say...."once you go B' never go....."
He chuckled to was going to be a good day after all.....

Sunday, April 8, 2012


This Week in Bongolesia!

Easter Eggs and What ain't...
New Planes for the BAF?
Da Eas'ur Bunny is cumming!

(Sudekia): Yes, it's that time of year again, when the ears are up and the eyes are bright and the children of Bongolesia look towards that magic morning when da Eas'ur Bunny leaves them all a gift!
The mornings brighntess are highlighted by the delightful squeals and screams of children as they find delicious and exiciting Easter Eggs hidden among the tall weeds which are usually only inhabited by various species of poisonous snakes, and explosives.
Children of all ages love looking for the brightly colored and marked egg shaped items. Even adults like to get into the act and occassionally compete for the tasty prizes.
"I wait until the kids find a good one..." says a 78 year old grandmother with glee in her eyes..."And then I go for it. Finders keepers ya know!"
A government ministry official though said "Although Easter Egg hunting is encouraged and approved, sometimes the child will find something that while it is egg shaped, isn't as fun or as tasty..."
So the government would like to remind all children, (and parents, and those who just don't know any better), that the following will help them have a safe and happy Easter...


THESE AREN'T EASTER EGGS!!!... Anyone that finds anything that looks like the above picture are requested to NOT TOUCH IT, and to report it to the local authorities that will come and get it at their convenience.
Enjoy Easter and have a happy day!

(Sudekia): Word is coming from the Defense Ministry that the National Goverment is in negotiations for acquiring new aircraft for the Bongolesian Airforce.
"Although nothing has been confirmed yet, the Government has entered talks with Russia on the acquisition of aircraft to expand and enhance the capabilities and readiness of the Bongolesian Air Force."
While it is unconfirmed what aircraft exactly the government is looking at getting, unofficial word is that they have their eyes on two types of Russian made combat planes, the MiG-27 "Flogger-D", and the YaK-38 "Forger"

The MiG-27 Flogger-D; a high performance Russian combat plane made for giving enemy ground troops the jiggy...
"This plane is capable of putting the hurt on a lot of those bad guys that want to do badder things to our country than has been done before..." Said a govt. spokesman. "With this plane and properly trained pilots, we can zip down from the clouds and drop bombs on them hitting the targets most of the time and reducing the civilians casualties that occassionally happen when the going gets tough..."

Meanwhile it seems that air-ground attack isn't getting all the fun toys...
The YaK-38 "Forger" is what is known as a STOL/VTOL, (short take-off landing/vertical take-off and landing), interceptor aircraft, capable of finding the enemy planes and sending them down in flames.
"This is a nice plane, and it's pretty cool that it can go straight up and down. Our pilots will really have to get used to that. But it gives us the ability to even find the enemy and make his day really bad..." the govt. spokesperson said.
Although nothing is confirmed, talks are underway, and we will keep you informed....

Da Eas'ur Bunny is cumming your way!

Yes it's true! It's that time of year again when the Eas'ur Bunny cums to your neighborhood and leaves all sorts of goodies.

Everyone loves the Eas'ur Bunny. Some of the folks actually like Eas'ur Bunny MORE than Sannie Claus. They each give something good to people and the Eas'ur Bunny is known to give up a lot to make people happy and put smiles on their faces...

All folks love the Eas'ur especially....Perhaps it's the cute fuzzy, floppy ears???...

Even his Excellency, President-For-Life, P'hat Daddee B'wonah!

He just can't wait for the Eas'ur Bunny to show up at the presidential palace! He is looking forward to it!

So here's to a Happy Easter for all in Bongolesia!