President B'wonah expresses his sadness....

From The EuroNews Network: All the news, delivered with a European flair, by a Eurobabe...

Bongolesian President expresses his "sadness"...

(Sudekia) Reports are coming out of Bongolesia that His Excellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah is 'expressing sadness" over the fact that the representatives of the leading countries of the world have not accepted his invitations to attending his pending 29th Birthday Celebrations.

"Perhaps they have gotten lost in the mail?" He says. "It would just break my heart if I spent that much in postage only to get the down the nose snub by other countries. While I do my best to mend fences and wounds with our former European Colonial Imperialists Lackey Overlords, and show that we, as Bongolesians can move ahead of our turbulent past and leap into an even more turbulent future, we can still all be friends, and even put our differences aside for a good party no?"

Reports are coming out of Bongolesia that the nation is preparing to celebrate the Presidents "29th" birthday again this year on the date of his birth, April 1st.

"We're gonna have a good time and show how much we love our leader!" A national spokesman said. "We've got a great parade, food, fun, fireworks, and all sorts of shindiggins that'll be going on! If you snooze you lose!"

Currently, most of the countries in Europe haven't responded to the invitations. At last word, the nation of Greece was deciding to send a representative to the occassion, and perhaps to request some form of financial assistance from the B'wonah Government.

Stay tuned to the EuroNews Network for more as this story unfolds....

CRISIS IN BONGOLESIA! EUROPEAN DIPLOMATS "INSULT" BONGOLESIAN GOVT AND PEOPLE....

CRISIS IN BONGOLESIA CONTINUES!

EUROPEAN DIPLOMATS "INSULT" BONGOLESIA SAYS NATIONAL GOVT.

FINANCIAL CRISIS TURNS INTO INTERNATIONAL CRISIS WITH CURRENCY CHANGE PROPOSAL!

ALAN ALDA OFFERS HIS INSIGHT AND IDEAS ON HOW TO SOLVE THE ISSUE!

EURONEWS NETWORK: (ENN): "All the news with a European Flair; delivered by a Eurobabe..."

DATELINE: (EUROPE/BONGOLESIA):
Midday talks on the current Bongolesian Crisis, completely broke down today as European Diplomats offered a "Financial Solution and Change Plan", to "assist Bongolesia in it's current economic boondoggle."
"While Boongdoggle is a term that we do not normally use here in Europe..." says European Spokesman Pierre Poupon of France, "and it is something that ze Americans like to use, *sniff*, ze fact that ze word is simply ze only one that we can theenk of to explain their situation..."
Bongolesian representatives today were presented with a jaw-dropping proposal by the European Nations and Financial Markets to completely overhaul their economic system, beginning with their own currency.
According to an anonymous source, The European representatives proposed to the Bongolesian representatives that their nation, "completely do away with their current currency, The Bling-Bling and to replace it with something that is more financially stable and has maintained it's value over the long term test of time."

FROM THIS....(The Current Currency of Bongolesia)...

TO THIS:...(The Proposed Future Currency of Bonoglesia)...



Bongolesian National Authorities overwhelmingly rejected the proposal and after briefing the government on this latest proposal, Bongolesian Diplomat to Europe, Ambassador F'lybye Nite, said simply..."My Government has received this proposal and after a careful review and evaluation of it, has instructed me to tell my European counterparts that they know what they can to with themselves..."


Bongolesian Ambassador to Europe, Mr. F'lybye Nite, seen here discussing items of importance with a staff member...

Reports coming from Bongolesia say that the National Government is "highly displeased" with this latest round of failed solutions, and talks. This comes as civil unrest continues in the Northern part of the country and is suspected (though not confirmed) to be spreading throughout the rest of the country.

Media coverage of the unrest is currently being censored and controlled by National Govt. Authorities and it is indeed difficult to get a clear picture of what is going on in Bongolesia.

Of course many analysts and experts say that that is "perfectly normal with this country, as they haven't been able to get a clear picture of the situation there for over 20 years..."

SPECIAL!!!

DATELINE: (HOLLYWOOD): Cinema Superstar and International Relations Emasculator Alan Alda today announced that he was willing to discuss his plans for "helping to solve the current situation with Bongolesia, and to show how, once again, the US Government is "somehow at fault for letting this happen."

"I blame Washington." Alda said after sipping from his bottle of Evian Water while sitting in a cafe in Hollywood. "We know that the US Government is usually behind all kinds of things that happen in this world, and it has the reputation of being the schoolyard bully and threatening younger children with violence in the school bathroom if they don't allow us to copy their homework. Do you know what it's like to have to go pee, but you are deathly afraid because of the bully in the bathroom? It's a harrowing experience I can tell you. You shake your legs and watch the clock, waiting for school to be out, because you are afraid of wetting your pants... Well it's the same with the international community and the US Government, I'm thinking...."

Alan Alda, passionately discusses the current Bongolesian Crisis...(Be sure to see the entire special report right after this newscast!)...

STAY TUNED TO THE ENN FOR ALL THE LATEST IN THIS UNFOLDING CRISIS!!!!!

Crisis in Bongolesia!

EURONEWS NETWORK: All the news, delivered with a European Flair, by a Eurobabe...

US OFFERS DIPLOMATIC "RESOLUTION" TO BONGOLESIAN CRISIS!

PHOTOS OF DAMAGES AND SECURITY OPERATIONS RELEASED!

BONGOLESIAN GOVT SAYS THAT IT REMAINS "IN ABSOLUTE CONTROL"...

DATELINE: WASHINGTON/BONGOLESIA

(Washington): In a rare and sudden unexpected move, the US Government today announced that it is offering its diplomatic assistance to help "find a resolution to the current Bongolesian Crisis afflicting that country."

In a released statement by The White House, it reads: "The People and Government of The United States are aware of the problems in Bongolesia and with it's relations in the international community. We are shocked and saddened that this has taken on a violent tone, and in order to maintain a more peaceful world, we are ready to help resolve this situation diplomatically or otherwise as soon as possible."

It is speculated that the US Government is reacting quickly due to a "Deer In The Headlights" moment in International Affairs due to the sudden presence of Acting Legend and Cinema Superstar Alan Alda, offering his services to go to the Cayman Islands and to help mediate the crisis to a peaceful happy conclusion.

In a quickly worded response, the press agent for Mr. Alda said: "While Mr. Alda respects the sudden sensitivity of the US Government to this issue that they no doubt in some way, shape, or form, had a hand in creating, he still stands by his offer to be flown to the Cayman and handle this in the way that only a sensitve gentle artistic soul of his caliber can. He has his flip flops ready and is just waiting on his boarding pass!"

Mr. Alan Alda, (in a clean shirt and tie); also known as "The Henry Thoreau of International Relations"...

Meanwhile in Bongolesia....

Sources are releasing the first pictures of some of the local actions taken by the Interior Security Ministry in putting down the growing opposition and civil unrest. While only a few pictures have made their way out, they show the security forces clamping down hard on the protesters.

In this picture here, a local civilian is on the wrong end of the riot stick as a local security official persuades him to change the error of his ways...

Also, the first released pictures of the damage to Port Kensington-Hyde-White has been released showing some of the devastation caused by the civil unrest. Bongolesian Govt. Officials have increased the curfew and rumor is that martial law will be enacted "very soon, if conditions do not improve".

Many buildings in Port Kensington-Hyde-White have been damaged or destroyed completely, which is contributing to the break down of the local infrastructure. Rumor is that petrol is completely out, and that food, water, and power is sporadic at best due to the damage.

STAY TUNED TO THE ENN FOR MORE INFORMATION AS THIS STORY UNFOLDS.....

WORLD BANKS REFUSE BEC DISTRIBUTION AND VALIDATION...

FROM THE EUROPEAN NEWS NETWORK (ENN): "All the news, with a European Flair, delivered by a Eurobabe!"...

DATELINE: EUROPE/BONGOLESIA:
World Financial Leaders and Banking Organizations today voted overwhelmingly to reject the validation and international financial recognition and accredidation of the recently proposed and released "Bongolesian Express Card".
In a joint statement released by Financial and Banking Leaders and Lenders throughout the world, it said the following:
"It is with heavy heart and after much consideration that we have decided to reject the validation and financial recognition necessary to accredit the Bongolesian Express Card. This rejection in no way reflects ill will upon the nation of Bongolesia, nor it's people, but instead focuses on the unanswered questions having to do with market stability, government regulations, international trade and financial goodwill, and most of all the fluctuation of Bongolesian Currency upon the world financial market. The fact that the card carries a 875% interest rate has also raised a few eyebrows..."

The Bongolesian Express Card...You can't leave home without it....actually you can, but now no one will recognize it as valid....

National Government Spokesman Sp'in Doktur discusses the current hijinks surrounding the recent snubbing by monetary institutions around the world...

Upon learning of the refusal to recognize the new credit card for Bongolesia, National Spokesman Sp'in Dok'tur spoke in reply:
"It saddens us, as a nation, and a people, and for his Exellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah, it just breaks his heart to see us treated this way once again, by other nations that have a "We're better than you, n'yah!" attitude. You would think that in this day and age, our former European Colonial Occupiers and their flunky allies would wanna do the right thing and okey-dokey this card to show that Bongolesia would be a good place to invest, and spend your money in as much as possible. It seems though that all they wanna do is play games with our nation and our people until they can get their way once again. Well, I don't know about you folks, but I think that that ain't gonna happen for a loooooong time."

Sources in Sudekia say that due to this recent "look down their nose at Africa once again", mentality and attitude, they expect the financial markets to work against the validity of the Bongolesian Currency, known as "The Bling-Bling". This will increase prices throughout the country and lead to inflation, as well as perhaps even fuel more civil unrest while the government attempts to solve the situation.
Meanwhile despite a curfew and increased police/security presence, civil unrest continues in Kensington-Hyde-White and Waughtown for a second day as for the first time, the delightful aroma of CS riot control gas graced the air and noses of protestors. Despite firing dispersal gas into the crowds of protesters and day shoppers at the local outlet store, civil unrest continues in these two cities, with the largest and most active in Kensington-Hyde-White. National Government officials are working with local leaders to stop the unrest and address issues of concern and restoring order.

Unhappy citizens in Kensington-Hyde-White show their frustration ...

"Suck on this!" Riot gas used on protesters to help restore order...

Meanwhile in Hollywood California, cinema legend and all time acting superstar Alan Alda has offered his services to the US Government to fly him to either the Cayman Islands or Switzerland to meet with Bongolesian Officials to discuss how he can help mediate a succesful ending to the current issues plaguing the nation.

Can he do it? Alan Alda offers his services to help stop "The Bongolesian Issue and to make sure that it's America's Fault"...

STAY TUNED TO ENN FOR MORE NEWS ON THIS UNFOLDING DRAMA AS IT HAPPENS!!!!