Coming soon to a bookstore near you!!!!

Just in time for the New Year and for making ALL of your holiday travel plans!
A delightful book outlining all that the savvy traveller needs to know when visiting this exotic locale.
This book will cover all the questions that you, The Savvy Traveller will have when going to Bongolesia including;
An overview of Bongolesia, with a quick summary of history, the current presidential administration, culture, daily life, what to expect, who to believe and trust, etc...

All of this is covered in 23 wonderful chapters:

1: Travel, (What to do, what not to do, who to pay off, and what not to eat)...
2: Toilet Paper, (Bring yer own)...
3: Now that you're here...
4: Getting through customs, (with most of your luggage)...
5: Travelling around Sudekia...
6: The "Wonderful" Bongolesian People...
7: The "Not So Wonderful" Bongolesian People...
8: The "Really Not So Wonderful" Bongolesia People...
9: The "Scummy Low Life" Bongolesian People...
10: Bongolesian Culture
11: Bongolesian Cuisine
12: Bongolesian Nightlife, (aka "Booty-call")
13: Travelling outside of the Cities.
14: Animals that you may encounter in the wilds, (including a listing of at least half a dozen species that may try to eat you, both four legged AND two legged)...
15: Landmine identification guide.
16: What to do in case of trouble.
17: Guidelines and helpful tips if you get taken hostage.
18: Exploring the local villages.
19: What not to do to the Local Witch Doctor.
20: Helpful Phone #'s for assistance, reporting guerilla activity, or informing friendly officials of your predicament.
21: What to do when dealing with The Bongolesian Authorities.
22: Cash...how much you need, when you need it, where to carry it...and make sure you can get some more...
23: Enjoying your stay in Bongolesia.


So get yours today! Copies will be selling fast!!!!

2009 in Bongolesia, a chat with Alan Alda, and other things...

Well it's 2009 in Bongolesia and despite the recent nastiness up in the Northwestern corner of the country, (Which will be addressed REAL SOON), things seem to be normal in the daily lives of Bongolesians throughout the country.

The New Year Celebrations helped bring in the New Year with joyous noise, music, par-tays, and all sorts of merry mischief and mayhem that Bongolesians are well known for.

There was a little damage as someone fire-bombed three porta-toilets at a construction site in Waughtown, and some shop windows were broken by over-festive party-goers, but overall the damage was minimal, fires were controlled, and only 4 people killed.

"2009 promises to be an interesting year for our beloved nation..." Said Bongolesian National Spokesman S'pin Doc'tur. "Already things are happening behind the scenes that will cause the world to sit up and open their eyes and notice that we is who we is."

(Happy Bongolesian Children ring in the New Year in "de land 'o plenty...")

(And they partied in the new year in the villages too. Much more than usual now that a lot of the landmines have been removed...)

More to come on this as things develop...

Also, during the holidays The Staff of Whiny Now! Magazine was able to get an exclusive interview with actor and social emasculator Alan Alda on what he thought about the recent crisis and issues in Bongolesia.
At a recent sit down in a Artistic Faux-French Coffee and Pastry shop in Beverly Hills, Mr. Alda was able to give his ideas and opinions on Bongolesia. While sipping on his cinnamon sprinkled foamy latte, Mr. Alda was able to speak openly on Bongolesia...

"Bongolesia is an amazing country, unlike the US because it's so...so...different. There are things there that we don't have over here. I blame the US administration for their problems. Being able to understand the plight of the poor from my home here in Southern California, I can see the misery that comes out of that country and the need for assistance.
I also understand that there are issues over there involving their government and military actions against the peaceful Marxist rebels of that nation. Such thuggery, and shenanigans should be outlawed in the international community and the UN should condemn the actions as illegal. I mean, (sipping a cinnamon sprinkled, white foamy latte), there are UN peacekeepers there, why aren't they keeping the peace?
I can understand that the recent crisis issues in that country interrupted The Alan Alda Winter End Season End Years End Holiday Fest and Musical Extravaganza which by the way had the highest ratings for any show I have ever hosted, but there comes a time when the world must sit up and take notice for what is going on in there. I blame the US for this..."

(Mr Alan Alda...a very passionate man about Bongolesia. He seems to know a lot...)


The rest of the article will soon be posted in an upcoming issue of Whiny Now! magazine.
Be sure to look for it on your newstands!!!!



In other news, there is unconfirmed rumor that with the New Year here, there will be some "reassignments" going on at the National Defense Headquarters. Already it is rumored that General B'unga M'bunga will probably be retiring soon to a well deserved retirement and military pension for his grand service to the nation.

(Puttin' out to pasture? General M'Bunga, rumored to be retiring soon...)


More to come on this situation as things develop...

As usual comments are appreciated!