Crisis in Bongolesia!

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US OFFERS DIPLOMATIC "RESOLUTION" TO BONGOLESIAN CRISIS!

PHOTOS OF DAMAGES AND SECURITY OPERATIONS RELEASED!

BONGOLESIAN GOVT SAYS THAT IT REMAINS "IN ABSOLUTE CONTROL"...

DATELINE: WASHINGTON/BONGOLESIA

(Washington): In a rare and sudden unexpected move, the US Government today announced that it is offering its diplomatic assistance to help "find a resolution to the current Bongolesian Crisis afflicting that country."

In a released statement by The White House, it reads: "The People and Government of The United States are aware of the problems in Bongolesia and with it's relations in the international community. We are shocked and saddened that this has taken on a violent tone, and in order to maintain a more peaceful world, we are ready to help resolve this situation diplomatically or otherwise as soon as possible."

It is speculated that the US Government is reacting quickly due to a "Deer In The Headlights" moment in International Affairs due to the sudden presence of Acting Legend and Cinema Superstar Alan Alda, offering his services to go to the Cayman Islands and to help mediate the crisis to a peaceful happy conclusion.

In a quickly worded response, the press agent for Mr. Alda said: "While Mr. Alda respects the sudden sensitivity of the US Government to this issue that they no doubt in some way, shape, or form, had a hand in creating, he still stands by his offer to be flown to the Cayman and handle this in the way that only a sensitve gentle artistic soul of his caliber can. He has his flip flops ready and is just waiting on his boarding pass!"

Mr. Alan Alda, (in a clean shirt and tie); also known as "The Henry Thoreau of International Relations"...

Meanwhile in Bongolesia....

Sources are releasing the first pictures of some of the local actions taken by the Interior Security Ministry in putting down the growing opposition and civil unrest. While only a few pictures have made their way out, they show the security forces clamping down hard on the protesters.

In this picture here, a local civilian is on the wrong end of the riot stick as a local security official persuades him to change the error of his ways...

Also, the first released pictures of the damage to Port Kensington-Hyde-White has been released showing some of the devastation caused by the civil unrest. Bongolesian Govt. Officials have increased the curfew and rumor is that martial law will be enacted "very soon, if conditions do not improve".

Many buildings in Port Kensington-Hyde-White have been damaged or destroyed completely, which is contributing to the break down of the local infrastructure. Rumor is that petrol is completely out, and that food, water, and power is sporadic at best due to the damage.

STAY TUNED TO THE ENN FOR MORE INFORMATION AS THIS STORY UNFOLDS.....