100TH POST! (and Happy Bongolesian National Independence Day!)

The 100th POST!!!

HAPPY BONGOLESIAN NATIONAL INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!

From an official statement from His Excellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah

(Sudekia) " Today is the day of our country and of our people. Today is National Independence Day for our beloved country of Bongolesia. Under my wise rulership, and the hard working spirit of the people whom I rule, we have made this country into what it is, and what others look upon it as. Countries all around the world look to us as we set an example.

The history of our country, (as all good citizens are aware of), is filled with dark times in the past as we struggled mightily to undo the shackles of Western European Colonialism and Imperialism, and indeed the struggle was long, but in the end, we did prevail, and because of it, our flag hangs on it's long, stiff, and erect pole; a glistening beacon for all to see.

While it is true that there are many out there that would see our nation crumble into ruins and even further despair, (and you know who you are), we as proud members of this nation stand shoulder to shoulder face our enemies with stout hearts and closed minds ready to get jiggy with them, and to look towards our allies with open hearts and hands.

It is on this day that I wish, for all the Bongolesian people to think of what really matters most of all, and remember how to get it, and more.

Long live our nation! Long Live Bongolesia! "

Extolling the virtues of our glorious nation, our beloved leader speaks to all....

LOCAL VILLAGES CELEBRATE INDEPENDENCE DAY!

(Central Bongolesia) The drums were beating, and the screams could be heard throughout the jungles...The local villages were celebrating National Independence Day.

Local villages throughout the nation celebrated the National Day of Independence with a variety of festivals, dances, obscure rituals, and native traditions.

Among the many colorful ones are the highly popular, "Landmine Polka", and the "Incoming, Get Down!" Dance of many of the local tribes.

Among many of the local and time honored traditions enacted were the "Missionary Hop", (very popular in previous centuries), and the Blessings of the Witch Doctor.

These rituals, and traditional activities help portray a large colorful picture of Bongolesian culture on this important day.

Local tribal ladies enact the "Sweeping it all away" dance, (a tribal ritual which focuses on using a broom to "sweep away" bad luck, empty bullet casings, and broken glass from the latest pitched battle...)

BONGOLESIAN INDEPENDENCE DAY CONCERT ANNOUNCED!

Special Guest Performer will "Give it all up" on stage...

(Sudekia) In a last minute annoucement today, it was revealed that a "special mystery guest performer" will "give a show" tonight in Sudekia in celebration of National Independence Day.

While the guest performer has not yet been announced, it is speculated with some turgid anticipation as to who it may actually be that will be on stage.

Rumor has it that a certain performer, who's initials are "B.S." will be on stage putting it all out for everyone to see and giving a special VIP "performance" after the initial concert.

Everyone is licking their lips in anticipation of tonights special encore show!

Who could the mystery performer be that will be putting it out on stage? Details to be announced as more is revealed...err...released... Supposedly a photo showing her overjoyed reaction when being told of her "show" in Bongolesia this evening...Can't you just see it in her eyes???...

BONGOLESIAN BLOG 100th Post!

Wow...100 posts...

And still going...

When I first started this, I didn't think that it would last this long. I had no idea the amount of responses, interest, and reception that I would get with it. I figured that some thin skinned overly sensitive prat would complain, (and a couple have), about it and it would be shut down. Even though the overall basis of it, is that all in all, it's just a simple site made to keep track of an imaginary country in which I play wargames in with little toy soldiers.

But it attracted a lot of fans too...

And for those that have been inspired by what I wrote, or taken some of my gaming ideas and have run with them, or used the idea of the nation to create their own countries, I salute you for your efforts and your support.

Thank you everyone out there for your support, and thank you for believing in the nation and supporting it with your patronage.

What do YOU think of Bongolesia???

"This Week in Bongolesia!"

THIS WEEK IN BONGOLESIA!
(Brought to you by "Radio Joe...7.62 on your AM radio dial!)

*Urban renewal projects...
* Kidz at play...
*BOOM! Went the fuel truck!
*National "Backroad Safety Week"
*Superstar "P'nut Lohg in Concert!"

URBAN RENEWAL PROJECTS BEING REVIEWED:
(Sudekia) In an optimistic announcement today, the national government has announced that it is "Reviewing current plans and policies dedicated to urban renewal of areas that really need it." Specifically speaking, the policies and plans come to light on assisting the quality of living in the lower class lifestyle living areas.
"While some people and nations of the world may call them "slums", and "shantytowns", we here in Bongolesia prefer the term "lower class lifestyle neighborhoods". said a national spokesman. "To say that Bongolesia has slums is really an insult to our nation and it's progress under our esteemed Excellency President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah."
While many of the details of the report has not been released, it is known that certain aspects of the report designed to "focus the awareness of increasing the happiness of life in the lower class neighborhoods", include such things as:

1: "Fixing broken public plumbing and repairing outhouses", to increase sanitation and cleanliness, and to help get rid of nasty smells and the seemingly ever increasing Goomba Fly populaiton. "Let's be truthful.' The Government spokesman said. "Nobody, I don't care WHO you say you are...NOBODY enjoys the smell of a fresh full outhouse on a hot hot day..."

2: Developing new recreation facilities: Ideas have been proposed to established playgrounds for kids so that they can enjoy a "healthy and fun lifestyle in their free time between their work and school activities." This includes cleaning up brown dirt lots and removing the shards of broken glass and metal, and empty bullet cartridges that can cut into the tender of skin of the childrens bare feet as they run screaming through the dust...

These are simply two of the issues that are being looked at by the national government to increasing the lifestyle of it's less fortunate citizens...

"Gettin' a piece o' the pie" Government reviews policies and plans on urban renewal for lower class lifestyle neighborhoods like this one on the outskirts of Sudekia.

KIDZ at play...
(Lonnieville): During the summer months, (and other times also, especially when it's not raining), one can wander during daylight through the neighborhoods all across the country and see the smiling faces of happy children at play.
"It's such a joy to listen to the shrieks and screams of children at play." said a happy mother as she watched her young son playing in the local park before he was pushed to the ground by some other kids in "a game". The mother watched her children get up, shake his head to clear his thoughts while catching his breath and then resumed playing. "True, you have to watch out for them, and sometimes they do get hurt, but it's a learning experience. Plus, the world isn't such a coddling place."
The discussion was interrupted by a loud scream from a child as he fell out of a tree that he was climbing. Hitting the ground with a loud thud, everyone stopped and watched his motionless form for a moment before he regained his senses and conciousness. Then all was cool, and the kids resumed playing...
Children all across the country are building strong bones and reflexive running and dodging skills as they play local games which include throwing things at each other, and the ever present local game of playground football is always underway.
"It's fun to watch them play, and it passes the time on a nice day, to see the chil...chil....*hic* kids playing." said an older man while sitting on a park bench taking sips from a bottle in a brown paper bag.
Children seem to enjoy their leisure time, but soon the school season will be back in full swing, so they are making the best of it.

Fun for all ages! Kids at play at the local playground in Lonnieville.

BOOM! Went the fuel truck!
Accidend under investigation, driver toasted...
(Tomtown): National Police and Safety Investigators today are reviewing the evidence found in yesterdays Petroco Fuel Truck explosion and fire on the outskirts of Tomtown.
"While we do not know fo' sure what caused this to happen, we will be reviewing all possible causes, including illegal activities and safety concerns." said a Bongolesian National Police spokesman. "It's a good thing that this happened outside of town. Can you imagine the mess it would've caused inside?"
The Petroco tanker truck was reportedly travelling towards Tomtown with a full load of high octane fuel from the Petroco Refinery outside of Lonnieville when the accident happened.
Witnesses were told that they heard "a loud noise, then the sound of tires screeching before they heard a loud crash and an explosion, followed by a fire."
"Yeah...that's the way these things normally go..." said a local citizen.
The driver, (whose name is being witheld pending identification and family notification process), was killed in the accident.
Despite the accident, the overall safety record of Petroco in Bongolesia remains very good.
"It's rare that these things happen with our trucks, and our drivers. All vehicles are maintained to the highest standards, and the drivers are trained to be professionals and to handle their explosive loads with care and not like the screaming amateurs of our competitors. " said a local Petroco Spokesman.
"Residents are once again reminded of the dangers of inattentive driving and what could happen if you don't watch where you are going." said a Bongolesian National Policeman.
More details are coming and will be reported as soon as produced.

Wrecked Petroco fuel truck burns outside of Tomtown...

NATIONAL BACKROAD SAFETY WEEK BEGINS IN BONGOLESIA!
(Keeping drivers, passengers, and everything else safe from each other!)
(Sudekia): Government Transportation officials today announced with pride the launch of "National Backroads Safety Week", throughout the nation.
"This is the beginning of a new program dedicated to reducing the number of accidents on our country's backroads, either stupid or otherwise." said a Transportation spokesman.
"It's well know that Bongolesia has a large amount of backroads in various conditions and development and some of these roads are not as safe as others. Travellers driving their own cars and ones that they have borrowed have been known to get into many accidents which hurt and kill people, animals, and other things."
Among the many plans for National Backroad Safety Week is a series of film shorts that will make a circuit around the country to educate the citizens on the dangers of driving and how to be a better driver. Among these films are "Don't drive into the herd." "Danger! Washed out bridge ahead means YOU too!" and the ever popular, "Why cars and landmines don't mix..."

"Guess who has right of way?" will be among the many topics covered during National Backroad Safety Week...

TIME TO GET JIGGY!!!!
Bongolesian Superstar P'nut Lohg to get you going with a series of local concerts!
(Port Tuziak): It's time to change your socks and get your bling on as Bongolesian International Recording Sensation P'nut Lohg opens his new tour to promote sales of his new hit album, "Sploosh!"
"P'nut Lohg has been wanting to get this passed and out to everyone for a long time." said a public relations spokesman for Mr. Lohg. "There's been a lot of grunting and flexing on getting this thing passed down the right way without any backups, and it finally looks like it worked!"
Among the many hit songs on the album are the new dance sensations, "DON'T STEP THERE!", and "Red Tracer Boogie". Also on the album is the heart rendering songs "Did you hear that click?", and even the reach down into your soul bluesy sounds as P'nut Lohg sings "The Misfire Blues"...
Tour dates are soon to be announced, but it's guaranteed that tickets will be sold out fast! So keep your eyes and ears open and your head down low to get your hands on these tickets and to go "see the show!"

"The Artist with a movement..." P'nut Lohg prepares for his next round of concert appearances...

Stay tuned to Radio Joe, AM 7.62 on your dial, for all the latest music, and for "What's happening in Bongolesia!"

WORLD BANKS REFUSE BEC DISTRIBUTION AND VALIDATION...

FROM THE EUROPEAN NEWS NETWORK (ENN): "All the news, with a European Flair, delivered by a Eurobabe!"...

DATELINE: EUROPE/BONGOLESIA:
World Financial Leaders and Banking Organizations today voted overwhelmingly to reject the validation and international financial recognition and accredidation of the recently proposed and released "Bongolesian Express Card".
In a joint statement released by Financial and Banking Leaders and Lenders throughout the world, it said the following:
"It is with heavy heart and after much consideration that we have decided to reject the validation and financial recognition necessary to accredit the Bongolesian Express Card. This rejection in no way reflects ill will upon the nation of Bongolesia, nor it's people, but instead focuses on the unanswered questions having to do with market stability, government regulations, international trade and financial goodwill, and most of all the fluctuation of Bongolesian Currency upon the world financial market. The fact that the card carries a 875% interest rate has also raised a few eyebrows..."

The Bongolesian Express Card...You can't leave home without it....actually you can, but now no one will recognize it as valid....

National Government Spokesman Sp'in Doktur discusses the current hijinks surrounding the recent snubbing by monetary institutions around the world...

Upon learning of the refusal to recognize the new credit card for Bongolesia, National Spokesman Sp'in Dok'tur spoke in reply:
"It saddens us, as a nation, and a people, and for his Exellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah, it just breaks his heart to see us treated this way once again, by other nations that have a "We're better than you, n'yah!" attitude. You would think that in this day and age, our former European Colonial Occupiers and their flunky allies would wanna do the right thing and okey-dokey this card to show that Bongolesia would be a good place to invest, and spend your money in as much as possible. It seems though that all they wanna do is play games with our nation and our people until they can get their way once again. Well, I don't know about you folks, but I think that that ain't gonna happen for a loooooong time."

Sources in Sudekia say that due to this recent "look down their nose at Africa once again", mentality and attitude, they expect the financial markets to work against the validity of the Bongolesian Currency, known as "The Bling-Bling". This will increase prices throughout the country and lead to inflation, as well as perhaps even fuel more civil unrest while the government attempts to solve the situation.
Meanwhile despite a curfew and increased police/security presence, civil unrest continues in Kensington-Hyde-White and Waughtown for a second day as for the first time, the delightful aroma of CS riot control gas graced the air and noses of protestors. Despite firing dispersal gas into the crowds of protesters and day shoppers at the local outlet store, civil unrest continues in these two cities, with the largest and most active in Kensington-Hyde-White. National Government officials are working with local leaders to stop the unrest and address issues of concern and restoring order.

Unhappy citizens in Kensington-Hyde-White show their frustration ...

"Suck on this!" Riot gas used on protesters to help restore order...

Meanwhile in Hollywood California, cinema legend and all time acting superstar Alan Alda has offered his services to the US Government to fly him to either the Cayman Islands or Switzerland to meet with Bongolesian Officials to discuss how he can help mediate a succesful ending to the current issues plaguing the nation.

Can he do it? Alan Alda offers his services to help stop "The Bongolesian Issue and to make sure that it's America's Fault"...

STAY TUNED TO ENN FOR MORE NEWS ON THIS UNFOLDING DRAMA AS IT HAPPENS!!!!

Bombs, Bikinis, The French, and Business Deals...

PRESIDENT WORKS WITH INVESTIGATION CREW ON RECENT ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT...

"Will find out who gets the sharp end of the pain stick!"

(Sudekia) Under highly loaded security, his Excellency President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah, listened carefully to the initial findings of the investigation team focused on the recent assassination attempt.

For those of you not in the know, a two vehicle team of thugs and hoodlums attempted to ram and detonate their vehicles into the Government Building recently, while the President and his staff were inside doing stuff.

Security Forces were able to beat off the attempt, but not after one of the cars detonated in the Central Marketplace Area, killing some poor civilians, and stuff.

His Excellency was very business-like this morning, and just issued a quick statement before the first of what will probably be many closed door meetings.

"I'm a man of few words...but a lot of action. I like action, and I like to get a lot of action, and those hooligans that think they can get away with something like this, will soon discover the error of their ways."

His Excellency President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah, listens intently on the initial findings of who tried to get the jiggy on him...

MORE TO FOLLOWING AS THIS EVENT UNFOLDS

And in other news....

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!

Whiny European Leaders discuss "Bongolesian Affairs" while ignoring theirs!

It's becoming a bit of an embarassment to the international community at the "seemingly renewed" interest in our nation that our former European Colonial Masters, now known as the EU, (or should that be "EWWWW"???), have undertaken once again towards our beloved nation, while ignoring the plights of their people and issues within their borders altogether.

Students of approved history will remember that until 1960 our country was under a murky myriad of misguided myoptic masochism and rule by various stagnant European powers and lorded over by those same desperate nations being on trying to maintain themselves as some sort of colonial mastery over us and failing. Now in this day and age, like a weasel in a girls school, they are once again attempting to slip back into things here and are attempting it by using the guise of "International Relations", to do now what couldn't be done back then.

This week at a recent meeting of EU nations on lots of trivial affairs and what-nots, a flunky spokesman for the EU, (and from France of all places!), discussed with his spoon-fed reporters of the international media "his nations disgusts at our annoyance on their high tariff rates for the importation of Bongo-Cola.

Everyone knows that Bongo-Cola is a delicious, refreshing beverage destined to drive away thirst, and that it's something that everyone should enjoy, (even the French); but alas no...

They seem to think that "It's not good enough until they put a high tariff on it to make it an unaffordable luxury for everyone in the country", and thus no one in France is able to enjoy delicious, refreshing Bongo-Cola.

While we here in Bongolesia understand slamming tariffs on things to get people to pay for what they are getting, we are visibly upset because these so called "tariffs" are nothing more than highway robbery without the highways!

This is just one of the latest issues that the EU seems to be drumming up and focusing on within our beloved nation. It would be nice of them if they just went back to paying attention to their own failed systems and leave Bongolesia, (and the rest of the world), alone...

"SAME TO YOU FELLA!!!"

Local Whiny French EU Rep. tells the press "How he feels about Bongolesia..."

WHOOMP! THERE IT IS!!!!

Local beauties get ready for all popular annual Bongolesian National Bikini Pageant!

(Port Tuziak) The heat is on, and the smell of body oil and sweat is in the air as the local young ladies, (pretty and otherwise), are all jittery and excited at the announcement of the upcoming Bongolesian National Bikini Pageant being held this year at the luxious "Fly-By-Night" Club and Resort in Downtown Port Tuziak.

Bikini Pageant Producer See'mo Buttz said "This years contest is going to get you all up and thumpin' for some action! We got a line of beauties from all over the country ready to give it up for the crowd! They'll be strutting their stuff and will be all pimped out ready for a night of action!"

Indeed it seems that the local male population is already salivating and looking forward to the bevy of beauties that will be in the contest. "I'm 78 years old, and if'n I can see some of that hot whoomp, then day-aaaaammmmmnnnn!" said a local elderly gentleman while shivering in the noonday heat on a local park bench. We're not exactly sure what he means by his manner of speech, but we will get back to you on it.

The Fly-By-Night Club and Resort in downtown Port Tuziak, is one of the swankiest, poshest places around town, and is a popular place for entertainment of all kinds, (no sailors allowed). The Pageant will also be televised by Bongo-Vision Television and musical entertainment will be featuring local Bonoglesian Rap Sensation "Sqweekie K'leen", who will perform among his many hits, his recent hot single "I'd buy that fo' a dollar!"

"Something for everyone..."

Local beauties get ready to strut their stuff...

HASSELHOFF CAN'T COME EITHER...

Television Superstar is "saddened" that he is unable to make it as a guest judge of Bikini Pageant...

(Port Tuziak) In a sad statement released today, to the Bongolesian People, superstar and legendary actor David Hasselhoff informed our nation that he is "Unable to attend the Bongolesian Bikini Pageant due to unfortunate personal circumstances beyond his control." In a gently worded statement, he says: "This Bikini Pageant is something that I could really get my hands on and sink my teeth into... I'm so honored that you would ask me to be a guest judge of all the lovely ladies that will be strutting the corner of the stage and showing off their talents and goods. Maybe next year time will allow me to make it and grace your country with myself, and my clear-cut judgement on your local bevy of beauties..."

"Saddened that he can't come..."

Superstar David Hasselhoff is sad that he can't make it happen...

NEED SOMETHING SPECIAL AND EXOTIC???

Honest Abduls has it for you!!!

(Waughtown) Folks that love to spend lots of money, (their and others), will be happy and pleased to know that "Honest Abdul-The Shoppers Friend", has opened his third location here in Bongolesia! In a quick interview with Honest Abdul, he said " We thought long and hard about a third opening, but found that the best place to do business with is with the good people in the Northern Sector of the country. Waughtown has a good small port that allows ships carrying various goods, sundries, imports and exports to come in both day and night, and there are always UN personnel around to make sure that things are handled right." He smiled and took a deep smoke on his favored hookah. "The very best bargain for the very best price can ALWAYS be found at Honest Abduls New and Used Imports, Exports, and World O'Goods Emporium of Fine Things and Other Stuff. It's a great place to spend your hardly earned money."

(Cash, Money Order, International Money/Postal Orders, Gold, and certain International Charge Cards are accepted. No Checks please...Due to issues with the Italian Post, no items to be shipped to Italy...)

"He's got what you want..."

Honest Abdul-The Shoppers Friend!!!

CARGO SHIPS COMING TO PORT TUZIAK...

"What's in the tub, Bub?"

International Trade Agreements help local business and nation with special ordered stuff...

(Sudekia) The Ministry of Trade is happy to announce today that a series of specially brokered business deals with trade representatives from the CIS, and the PRC will allow the people of Bongolesia to see much new and needed items coming into the country via cargo ships. Ships traffic will be increased over the coming months in Port Tuziak and even in Sudekia to unload the cargo that they bring and to allow the sailors to get off. Details and information remain sketchy at the moment, but the word is out that among the items being brought into the country will be "Farm machinery and agricultural supplies, Irrigation devices, Tractors, Plumbing supplies, and other production and manufacturing materials". It's expected that the imports of said items will assist in the creation of many new jobs for the people in our country, and will allow them to sweat and work hard for what they are given. It all points to a brighter future for Bongolesia!

"Good Stuff coming in..."

Cargo ship on it's way to Port Tuziak...