Saturday, November 20, 2010

Current updates and goings on...

It's been a while since I've updated the dear readers on "What's happenin'!" in Bongolesia. The country has been relatively quiet over the past few months. However here are some highlights of recent activities...


* The Govt. is still in "negotiations" over the purchase of a unit of T-72 MBT's for the Presidential Guard. Negotiations to the Russian Govt. through "Honest Abdul" of "Honest Abdul's New and Used Emporium of Fine Things and Other Stuff" is currently at a standstill while "the finer details" are being "worked out"...



Honest Abdul; The Shopper's Friend...

* The NDF troops have been training quite heavily under the new leadership of Gen'l Lok N' Lode. Rumor is rampant that they will soon be moving into action as it's known that the good general likes to get a lot of action...

"Hut, two, three, fo'...."

*His excellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah gave a rousing speech to the people of the City of Lonnieville recently. In the speech he discussed "How Lonnieville has become a major hub of industry for the nation" (referring to the nearby location of the Kareem Abdul Jubar Petrochemical Facility and Oil Station); and "How things will get better as you folks are worked hard..." Afterwards the children of Miss Zoomoomboos 4th Grade Class brought a smile to the presidents face as they sang to him the old favorite song "There's a snake in my bed!"

The President tells folks what they need to know...

* Omencorp is completing it's acquisition of the holdings of Perverticus Industries after the latter failed to maintain and uphold it's financial and contractual obligations and responsibilities for operations within the nation...All Perverticus Industries facilities and materials should be running under the OMENCORP log by the beginning of 2011...



Soon to be in your neighborhood....

* In a recent announcement given by the US Pentagon today, the US Military has announced it's annual military exercises in the region near the country of Bongolesia. "Operation Azzwhip" will soon be taking place and will include all branches of the US Military in operations which will include lots of stuff being blow up, and bombed. Despite the overtures to better relations and the opening of the US Embassy in Jan. 2011, the National Govt. will be keeping eyes on this American Military Operation...who knows what their real plans could be?

"In The Navy! US Military forces announce exercise in the region"

* It was sadly announced today that Actress Salma Hayek "sadly had to refuse" the personal invitation by his Excellency President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah, to visit Bongolesia as a "VIP guest". She stated that "her current schedule and committments to her work and dealing with her billionaire French husband makes it currently impossible for her to accept the invitation." Sadly enough, somehow and someway, rumors have gotten around that she turned it down, because according to her "The way he looks at me...scares me." is nothing but baseless unsubstantiated gossip that has been falsely attributed to her. The President stated that if she "changed her mind" that he would "make time for her"...


"She can't come for the President...darn..."

* Recent news reports have revealed that the insidious religous cult leader "The Reverend Father Doctor John", who is the leader of the Strange and Mysterious "Oingo Boingo Cult"; has been seen near the borders of Bongolesia and the Bunji Republic De Nationale. If this is true, this would be the first time he has been officially seen since the military raid on his compund in Moonbatsia in July of 2007 by NDF forces which resulted in the rescue of Miss Vienna Dupree. It's a sure sign that if he is seen, then he is up to no good...


"Snake Oil in a yellow suit....The Rev. Father Dr. John, leader of the Oingo Boingo Cult"...

More updates to follow as they happen....

Comments as always are appreciated...





2 comments:

Panzerfaust 150 said...

Jesus, Bongolesia's hosting an Onigo Boingo reunion! BRING ON THE JDAMS!

TDH said...

"The way he looks at me...scares me."

Uh, dressed like that any guy looking at Selma will scare her.

Ted