A "Sudden Issue" in Bongolesia....

*At The Presidential Palace*...

B’wonah stared out the window in silence.

Deep in thought, he didn’t see the rain pattering on the window and rolling off the glass and into the leaky gutters before flowing out the bottom into ever growing streams of water that would end up flooding the gutters of downtown Sudekia.  True, it did help occasionally cool things off for about half an hour, before the heat returned and made the capital city resemble a sweating sauna once again as people poured sweat and the gumba flies thrived on the people’s misery.

But B’wonah didn’t care.

“What could be the problem here?” He thought to himself. “I’ve done everything right. I’ve played my cards carefully, been nice, and sent her a nice photo and some letters….and for what? No response whatsoever. Could it be that she doesn’t find me….attractive enough?”

He shook his head as if in denial. “Naaaah…that can’t be it. Maybe she didn’t like the swimsuit pic…Maybe it was a bit “too much” for a first letter…hmmm….she seems like a delicate creature.”

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Turning his head from the window to the door, his eyes made a quick glance to confirm that his loaded pistol was in reach.

“Enter.” He said.

The door opened and the mailman, and the Director of National Intelligence walked in.

“Mail call, your excellency.” The mailman said, while the Intelligence Director stood quietly waiting his turn.

P’hat’s eyes widened and he licked his lips at the prospect of a letter. “Maybe today is the day.” He said aloud.

“Sir?” The Director asked.

B’wonah looked at him. “He’s good…a little “too good”. I’m going to have to keep my eyes on this snake in the grass.” He thought to himself. “Oh nothing…just thinking aloud.” He answered cheerfully. Looking at the mailman, he asked cheerfully, “And what have we got today?”

The mailman handed him a stack of envelopes, and turned and left quickly, closing the door behind him. B’wonah slowly went through the mail, purposefully making the Director wait. “This will show him WHO the boss man around here is.” He said to himself.

“Hmmm…junk mail, shopping catalogs for Moolah….Really Director…How many pairs of shoes does one woman need?” He asked casually.

The Director shrugged.  “I don’t know your Excellency, but if you would like for me to find out, I am sure I can round up some of the usual suspects and extract the answer for you, to your liking.”

B’wonah waved it off with his hand. “Hmmm….No letter from The Princess of Alcovia?” He asked to himself more than anyone else.

“I’m sure that she is very busy your Excellency. Her country is being ripped apart by war, and there is the rumor about the body lubricant shortage that is going on there in Alcovia. It seems that some of them are now using a light coating of vegetable oil instead.” The Director said to B’wonah.

“Hmmm... true… I did read about their recent fiasco at the concert.” B’wonah answered.  He waited a moment and then looked up at the Director. “You usually don’t surface during the daylight unless there is something important going on. Is there something you want to tell me?”

The Director nodded. “Yes Excellency. Something has come up that I do think you need to know about.”

B’wonah’s hand moved closer to the pistol hidden beneath his desk.  “This isn’t about the Bongolesium issue is it? Did they find out about it?” He asked.

“No…Excellency….This is about …something else.”  The Director responded.

“Well tell me.” B’wonah ordered.

The Director began speaking and B’wonah’s eyes grew wide as to what he was hearing.

Thirty minutes later His Excellency President-For-Life P’hat  Daddee  B’wonah was calling an Emergency Cabinet Session to order at the Presidential Palace, and all Presidential Guards had been doubled….

(TO BE CONTINUED)…

Affairs of international passion and mystery!

Inside the Presidential Palace in Sudekia on a rainy afternoon...

"And so your Excellency, you can see the situation as it develops overseas for our quick investment-high yield very short term economics income program. We may have to start looking for other more open markets, as the situation in Western Europe seems to be all helter skelter with Greece, and the Netherlands, and France all going wang-doodle on elections." The Economic Advisor said.
He finished for a moment and then waited in silence as His Excellency; President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah sat staring at the numbers on the Excel spreadsheet before him.
"Hmmm...Good idea." He said to no one in particular.
The advisor sighed a slight sigh of relief.
B'wonah looked up at him and gave him the famous and often hoped for "You can go now" nod of his head. The advisor quickly scurried away from the podium and out the door before the President could change his mind.
Taking his place was the Security Advisor.
"Your Excellency. As you know, this morning National Defense Forces discovered a third abandoned cargo ship off of our coastline."
B'wonah nodded silently. Of course I am aware of this you idiot! Do I look like the fool that I have heard that you take me for? He thought to himself.
"Lights please?" The advisor asked as if in response the click of the switch plunged the room into almost immediate darkness as the projector brought up the picture on the screen.
"It's the Alcovian freighter Dreinia Maria, an Alcovian cargo ship that was reported missing approximately one month ago in the Black Sea." 

B'wonah stared at the photo of the derelict ship. Hmmmm....He thought. Three ships...all from Eastern European ports, listed as "lost"...then suddenly "found" right here, thousands of miles away and completely empty of cargo, crew, or anything really of value. Who's doing this, and what are they planning? His eyes shifted around to all the cabinet ministers and officials sitting around the conference table. Could any of these men here be involved in this? Is this a plot against me? Has one of my own loyal ministers decided to undermine my authority? I need to find this out and find out who is involved and what they are up to.

The Alcovian Freighter Dreinia Maria

"Currently we do not know what the situations with these ships are, but we are still investigating. Due to the issues in Eastern Europe, it's often difficult to find anyone that knows what is going on..." The advisor stopped and stood in uncomfortable silence.

"Or is willing to talk?" B'wonah said.

The advisor nodded.
"Continue." B'wonah said waving his hand at the advisor.
"With the issues that we have been having with Eastern European Translators, we decided to contact their official government sources directly, and in doing so, accidentally contacted Alcovian Royal Crown Princess Malatova about the issue...."
The slide clicked to show a picture of the Alcovian Crown Princess.

HRH Alcovian Crown Princess Malatova

"Hold the bus!" B'wonah exclaimed suddenly when he saw the picture of the princess. His suddenly exclamation and movement caused everyone to jump around the table and wonder if he was going to pull out his pistol and start "dispersing corrective action" as he was prone to do at times...

"She's the Alcovian Crown Princess?" B'wonah asked, as his eyes focused on her photo.

"Yes. Excellency." The advisor responded. He could see the gleam in The President-For-Life’s eyes. He knew where this was going. In fact he thought that he could actually hear The President-For-Life, licking his lips as a weasel would while preparing to devour a helpless chicken in a barnyard...

"So do we ummm....have any official relations with Alcovia?" B'wonah asked.

"No Excellency..." The advisor answered.

"You know...Perhaps I should write a letter...You know...from me to herself....to get us acquainted....You know...help their country out with international relations and all of that stuff, right?" B'wonah said with a slight turgid tone of excitement in his voice.

The advisor knowing that the more sensible "No I don't think that would be a wise idea sir", answer would most likely give him a 9mm migraine headache, nodded his head and said "I think that that would be a swell and most excellent idea your Excellency!"

The advisor and the rest of the officials waited until B'wonah had settled back into his chair before resuming the briefing.

The advisor droned on about "international naval operations and possible piracy in Bongolesian waters", but B'wonah wasn't listening. He was thinking about the Alcovian freighter....and other things...

Annnnnnnd that sweet thing Princess Malatova. I had no idea that they had such hotties in Alcovia...hmmm...She is a sweet thing....I could peel her like banana. I wonder if she's a bad girl? She obviously likes uniforms, as she is wearing one...perhaps I should send her a dress uniform photo of me with my note...You know what they say...."once you go B'wonah...you never go....."

He chuckled to himself...it was going to be a good day after all.....

EASTER IN BONGOLESIA!!!!

This Week in Bongolesia!

Easter Eggs and What ain't...
New Planes for the BAF?
Da Eas'ur Bunny is cumming!

(Sudekia): Yes, it's that time of year again, when the ears are up and the eyes are bright and the children of Bongolesia look towards that magic morning when da Eas'ur Bunny leaves them all a gift!
The mornings brighntess are highlighted by the delightful squeals and screams of children as they find delicious and exiciting Easter Eggs hidden among the tall weeds which are usually only inhabited by various species of poisonous snakes, and explosives.
Children of all ages love looking for the brightly colored and marked egg shaped items. Even adults like to get into the act and occassionally compete for the tasty prizes.
"I wait until the kids find a good one..." says a 78 year old grandmother with glee in her eyes..."And then I go for it. Finders keepers ya know!"
A government ministry official though said "Although Easter Egg hunting is encouraged and approved, sometimes the child will find something that while it is egg shaped, isn't as fun or as tasty..."
So the government would like to remind all children, (and parents, and those who just don't know any better), that the following will help them have a safe and happy Easter...

THESE ARE EASTER EGGS...

THESE AREN'T EASTER EGGS!!!... Anyone that finds anything that looks like the above picture are requested to NOT TOUCH IT, and to report it to the local authorities that will come and get it at their convenience.
Enjoy Easter and have a happy day!


NEW PLANES FOR THE BAF???
(Sudekia): Word is coming from the Defense Ministry that the National Goverment is in negotiations for acquiring new aircraft for the Bongolesian Airforce.
"Although nothing has been confirmed yet, the Government has entered talks with Russia on the acquisition of aircraft to expand and enhance the capabilities and readiness of the Bongolesian Air Force."
While it is unconfirmed what aircraft exactly the government is looking at getting, unofficial word is that they have their eyes on two types of Russian made combat planes, the MiG-27 "Flogger-D", and the YaK-38 "Forger"


The MiG-27 Flogger-D; a high performance Russian combat plane made for giving enemy ground troops the jiggy...
"This plane is capable of putting the hurt on a lot of those bad guys that want to do badder things to our country than has been done before..." Said a govt. spokesman. "With this plane and properly trained pilots, we can zip down from the clouds and drop bombs on them hitting the targets most of the time and reducing the civilians casualties that occassionally happen when the going gets tough..."

Meanwhile it seems that air-ground attack isn't getting all the fun toys...
The YaK-38 "Forger" is what is known as a STOL/VTOL, (short take-off landing/vertical take-off and landing), interceptor aircraft, capable of finding the enemy planes and sending them down in flames.
"This is a nice plane, and it's pretty cool that it can go straight up and down. Our pilots will really have to get used to that. But it gives us the ability to even find the enemy and make his day really bad..." the govt. spokesperson said.
Although nothing is confirmed, talks are underway, and we will keep you informed....

HIPPITY HOP!!!!
Da Eas'ur Bunny is cumming your way!

Yes it's true! It's that time of year again when the Eas'ur Bunny cums to your neighborhood and leaves all sorts of goodies.

Everyone loves the Eas'ur Bunny. Some of the folks actually like Eas'ur Bunny MORE than Sannie Claus. They each give something good to people and the Eas'ur Bunny is known to give up a lot to make people happy and put smiles on their faces...

All folks love the Eas'ur Bunny....men especially....Perhaps it's the cute fuzzy, floppy ears???...

Even his Excellency, President-For-Life, P'hat Daddee B'wonah!

He just can't wait for the Eas'ur Bunny to show up at the presidential palace! He is looking forward to it!

So here's to a Happy Easter for all in Bongolesia!

President B'wonah expresses his sadness....

From The EuroNews Network: All the news, delivered with a European flair, by a Eurobabe...

Bongolesian President expresses his "sadness"...

(Sudekia) Reports are coming out of Bongolesia that His Excellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah is 'expressing sadness" over the fact that the representatives of the leading countries of the world have not accepted his invitations to attending his pending 29th Birthday Celebrations.

"Perhaps they have gotten lost in the mail?" He says. "It would just break my heart if I spent that much in postage only to get the down the nose snub by other countries. While I do my best to mend fences and wounds with our former European Colonial Imperialists Lackey Overlords, and show that we, as Bongolesians can move ahead of our turbulent past and leap into an even more turbulent future, we can still all be friends, and even put our differences aside for a good party no?"

Reports are coming out of Bongolesia that the nation is preparing to celebrate the Presidents "29th" birthday again this year on the date of his birth, April 1st.

"We're gonna have a good time and show how much we love our leader!" A national spokesman said. "We've got a great parade, food, fun, fireworks, and all sorts of shindiggins that'll be going on! If you snooze you lose!"

Currently, most of the countries in Europe haven't responded to the invitations. At last word, the nation of Greece was deciding to send a representative to the occassion, and perhaps to request some form of financial assistance from the B'wonah Government.

Stay tuned to the EuroNews Network for more as this story unfolds....

HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY, BONGOLESIA BLOG!!!!

Wow...the time sure flies when you are having fun...
And this blog marks it's fifth birthday today...

102 posts, 72 followers, 25K + page views...

And the hits just keep on coming!

Once again I am humbled and appreciative of those folks out there that continue to read this blog and support my Imagi-nation, my third world African Hell-hole...

This year saw some interesting changes...The creation of Two Facebook Pages, (One group page, and one "Official Government Page"), and this blog being awarded a "Stylish Blogger Award". Also, it's been graciously mentioned by a few others in the creations of their imagi-nations.
Sadly though, the game I was going to run at Origins fell through, and it seems like next year will be a bust also, as the date is now Memorial Day Weekend...but I still have Gencon...muah hah hah!

Bongolesia has charmed many, infuriated some, upset others, disgusted a few, and really rankled those with very thin skins and sensitive personalities. Yet, those who see it for what it is, see it for what it is,,,a dark satire; gallows humor.

And that it's not "Real",. (despite the USPS sending mail there), and is just a place to have imaginary battles and shenanigans with little toy soldiers...

From myself to allow me to keep this blog going for five years...I offier my most sincere thanks and gratitude...

LONG LIVE THE NATION!

HAIL BONGOLESIA!

"Taking Stock of What I Have..."

"An Inventory of sorts...."

Also known as "inventorying my stuff"...It's gotten to the point that I am starting to lose count and focus of what I have and what I need to work on...sigh...this past T-giving weekend, I ran a couple of introductory games...and had problems finding the right pieces of terrain...So I've decided to actually get an inventory of some sorts down on paper.Thanks to Excel, I now had a 5 sheet excel workbook going on my 15mm Moderns.I'm starting with my 15mm Moderns and currently am just working on the "painted and ready to play stuff"...

Sheet 1: is figures, # of bases and # of figs : 204 stands, 472 figs...
Sheet 2: is vehicles, (ground and military): 131 including 40+ civilian vehicles...
Sheet 3: is aircraft and watercraft; 15 aircraft, 3 boats...
Sheet 4: is buildings: TBD
Sheet 5: is scenery: The misc little pieces that I have, (fences, signs, billboards, etc...): TBD

The eventual goal is to get all of the stuff on the inventory. For buildings I will number them on the base and have a photo of each.After this, will come a list of the "UNPAINTED" 15mm Moderns. This will give me an idea of my "mountain of lead", and what needs to be done...
Years from now after I regain my sanity, I will continue this project with my 15mm ACW, and my 20mm Vietnam, and my 25-28mm, Pulp, Cowboys, Pirates, Horror, Fantasy, and Colonials...
It will make me cry, but it will give me an idea of what I have....
And then I will cry even more...

100TH POST! (and Happy Bongolesian National Independence Day!)

The 100th POST!!!

HAPPY BONGOLESIAN NATIONAL INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!

From an official statement from His Excellency, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah

(Sudekia) " Today is the day of our country and of our people. Today is National Independence Day for our beloved country of Bongolesia. Under my wise rulership, and the hard working spirit of the people whom I rule, we have made this country into what it is, and what others look upon it as. Countries all around the world look to us as we set an example.

The history of our country, (as all good citizens are aware of), is filled with dark times in the past as we struggled mightily to undo the shackles of Western European Colonialism and Imperialism, and indeed the struggle was long, but in the end, we did prevail, and because of it, our flag hangs on it's long, stiff, and erect pole; a glistening beacon for all to see.

While it is true that there are many out there that would see our nation crumble into ruins and even further despair, (and you know who you are), we as proud members of this nation stand shoulder to shoulder face our enemies with stout hearts and closed minds ready to get jiggy with them, and to look towards our allies with open hearts and hands.

It is on this day that I wish, for all the Bongolesian people to think of what really matters most of all, and remember how to get it, and more.

Long live our nation! Long Live Bongolesia! "

Extolling the virtues of our glorious nation, our beloved leader speaks to all....

LOCAL VILLAGES CELEBRATE INDEPENDENCE DAY!

(Central Bongolesia) The drums were beating, and the screams could be heard throughout the jungles...The local villages were celebrating National Independence Day.

Local villages throughout the nation celebrated the National Day of Independence with a variety of festivals, dances, obscure rituals, and native traditions.

Among the many colorful ones are the highly popular, "Landmine Polka", and the "Incoming, Get Down!" Dance of many of the local tribes.

Among many of the local and time honored traditions enacted were the "Missionary Hop", (very popular in previous centuries), and the Blessings of the Witch Doctor.

These rituals, and traditional activities help portray a large colorful picture of Bongolesian culture on this important day.

Local tribal ladies enact the "Sweeping it all away" dance, (a tribal ritual which focuses on using a broom to "sweep away" bad luck, empty bullet casings, and broken glass from the latest pitched battle...)

BONGOLESIAN INDEPENDENCE DAY CONCERT ANNOUNCED!

Special Guest Performer will "Give it all up" on stage...

(Sudekia) In a last minute annoucement today, it was revealed that a "special mystery guest performer" will "give a show" tonight in Sudekia in celebration of National Independence Day.

While the guest performer has not yet been announced, it is speculated with some turgid anticipation as to who it may actually be that will be on stage.

Rumor has it that a certain performer, who's initials are "B.S." will be on stage putting it all out for everyone to see and giving a special VIP "performance" after the initial concert.

Everyone is licking their lips in anticipation of tonights special encore show!

Who could the mystery performer be that will be putting it out on stage? Details to be announced as more is revealed...err...released... Supposedly a photo showing her overjoyed reaction when being told of her "show" in Bongolesia this evening...Can't you just see it in her eyes???...

BONGOLESIAN BLOG 100th Post!

Wow...100 posts...

And still going...

When I first started this, I didn't think that it would last this long. I had no idea the amount of responses, interest, and reception that I would get with it. I figured that some thin skinned overly sensitive prat would complain, (and a couple have), about it and it would be shut down. Even though the overall basis of it, is that all in all, it's just a simple site made to keep track of an imaginary country in which I play wargames in with little toy soldiers.

But it attracted a lot of fans too...

And for those that have been inspired by what I wrote, or taken some of my gaming ideas and have run with them, or used the idea of the nation to create their own countries, I salute you for your efforts and your support.

Thank you everyone out there for your support, and thank you for believing in the nation and supporting it with your patronage.

What do YOU think of Bongolesia???