Sunday, November 30, 2008

NEWSFLASH!

European News Network (ENN),"All the news, delivered with a European Flair, by a Eurobabe…"

MISSING SCIENTISTS HAD RARE "SUPER ELEMENT"!!!

(Sudekia) Additional Reports are coming out of the African country of Bongolesia that the recent abduction of three prominent scientists by anti-govt. forces may have also included the acquisition of a newly discovered rare "super element" – Bongolesium.Professor Rudolf Von Reinhardt, Professor Art VanDeLay, and Doctor Nigel Percival Incubator-Jones,(All of Perverticus Industries), along with their driver, local native Goh'Speed R'aysur were reported overdue from a research trip into the Bongolesian Outback.A search party found the bullet riddled jeep, along with the bullet riddled body of the late local native Goh'Speed R'aysur, but no sign of the scientists nor the container holding the rare element.
Discovered by accident in the Central Region of Bongolesia near the Goombatz Mountain Range and Lake Damnitsdeep, "Bongolesium" is a rare element that seems to display some "unusual talents".
As one US Scientist said over his third Bourbon and Coke, "While we don't know the full aspects of what Bongolesium can do, I can *burp* say with a b..b..bit of a fact jack, that I think this is "one of those things" that we shouldn't let the Iranians get hold of…if you kn…know what I mean. *hic*"
Scientists around the world have been interested in acquiring and studying the rare element, but most expeditions to the country have been turned back due to lack of "necessary approvals and funding". Indeed it seems that Bongolesium is an amazingly rare element and thus its rarity makes it even more valuable on the open market.
With the recent revelation of the fate of the scientists and their cargo, Bongolesian Leader President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah expressed interest and gave his full support for the safe return of the missing cargo and the scientists. "It just breaks my heart to see such good stuff, and those scientists get hubbi-jubbied by those hoodlums that would see our country run even further into the ground." He said shaking his head."Of course, in the interests of world peace and prosperity, I shall make all Bongolesian Govt. Assets available to seek a meaningful conclusion to this situation as quickly as possible and in the best interests of all."
After these statements, the President invited all Eurobabes to attend a private cocktail pool party at the Presidential Palace. "It's a good way to have some company while The First Lady, Moolah B'wonah is on an extended trip to the international wig and hairdo conference in Tripoli, Libya."He said with a smile.
More on this story as the situation unfolds…stay tuned to the European News Network; where "All the news, is delivered with a European Flair, by a Eurobabe…"
And now, back to "Bowling with Nuns"…

2 comments:

Snickering Corpses said...

B'wonah. Is that perchance a reference to the Hogan's Heroes episode where they try to convince Colonel Klink that LeBeau is a big game hunter?

Adik said...

The President of the Republic of Lopongo, Kwanto Sei Bruto, extends to Bongolesian President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah his sincerest solidarity about the recent, distressing events that have perturbed the peace in Bongolesia. He expresses his full confidence that his brotherly friend, President-For-Life P'hat Daddee B'wonah, will lead his people with the wisdom and inspiration that have made him a role model for a whole new generation of young African leader.

On behalf of His Excellency the President of Lopongo,

Honorary Consul Adik